So recently, I have been having somewhat of a crisis. (I know, what else is new?) But the thing that has been bothering me has really taken a toll on my confidence. So what could be shaking me so much that my brain requires its own Richter scale? MATURITY....well actually, what the real definition of it is. My whole life I have felt one way, and now I'm being forced to question what I thought was right for so long.
Growing up I always viewed maturity as something that was directly related to a persons mental and spiritual state. I thought that as I grew older, the way I chose to handle certain situations, my dealings with those around me and of course, how I was progressing spiritually would show my growing maturity. That thought was undisturbed for so long. And honestly I feel that within the last 3 years, my maturity level has reached a high. But also..within the last 2 years people have been drilling little cracks into my mind. Now i find myself wondering "Is my maturity measured by my mental state and how I carry myself? or by my (lack of) material possessions?
It was brought to my attention recently that some of my "friends" think that I'm less mature than them. SOLELY based on the fact that they either have jobs or cars. Before I got my first job actually, one was quoted as saying that they felt uncomfortable inviting me out because I had never been employed. Now if you are reading this and picturing me as the type of person that leeches off of my friends and is constantly asking them to loan me money.....your wrong. There is nothing that makes me more uncomfortable than asking my friends for money or to pay for something for me. Sometimes I don't even like asking my family members for money if it's not really necessary....so you tell me, how could I make you uncomfortable??
Getting back to the whole issue of maturity. Since when does being able to go on 3 vacations a year or driving a car that you have to make payments on, automatically make you mature? News flash people: IT DOESN'T! Especially when the rest of your life, or your personality is in shambles. I respect the fact that everyone has the ability to make their own choices in life, but I don't appreciate being judged for the ones I made. I know that me choosing not to get a job when I turned 15 does mean that I'm behind on experience that some others might have, but it also meant that I was able to start pioneering while I was in high school. And that is a choice that I will never regret. I also know that some of my peers chose to get cars and there is obviously nothing wrong with that, but is there really something horribly wrong about not having a car? I never used to think so, I mean we live in N.Y.C! There are sidewalks everywhere, buses that run pretty frequently and the subway system. Why should I burden myself with taking care of a car and its payments? Just because I can drive, it doesn't mean that i need a car. And honestly I believe that its mature of me to think that way.
So I guess the point of this rant isn't really that I'm going to change my definition of maturity. But I think I may try to conduct an experiment to see how others define it.
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